How to Negotiate a Divorce Settlement

If you are like most people today, you’re probably wondering how to negotiate a divorce settlement. It’s not as easy as just walking into court and telling your spouse that you are divorcing him or her. Unfortunately, most times your spouse negotiates everything in the divorce agreement – including the biggest thing: how you divide up the assets and properties accumulated during the marriage.

You can easily break through the communication barriers with your spouse by adopting a negotiation strategy. First, you will need to know exactly what your own goals are in negotiating a divorce. Do you want to simply obtain a larger percentage of the assets and money in your life? Or do you really want to tear out your marriage asunder and start over – with a clean slate? Regardless of what you really want, you must come up with an effective strategy to get your desired results.

When negotiating a divorce, both you and your spouse should come out with a clear and honest outline of your expectations and motivations for the settlement. In addition to coming up with these ideas yourself, it would also be beneficial to seek legal help from a family law attorney or a lawyer specializing in family-related issues. You may think that this step is redundant, but the reality is that you can never be certain what your spouse will actually agree to. A lawyer can help you navigate the uncharted waters of the legal system when negotiating a settlement.

Next, you will have to actually “nail” your settlement proposal down to paper. This may sound easier said than done. After all, isn’t communication supposed to be free and easy? Well, while communication is the key to a successful negotiation, there are some very practical issues that come into play when trying to get your spouse to agree to terms and conditions you want for the marriage. One of these issues is trust. If you can establish trust as a key to your divorce, then you are well on your way to negotiating a win-win for everyone involved.

Trust means you must be able to communicate your desires to your spouse in a non-threatening manner. In essence, you have to be able to “put it in writing.” Therefore, during the actual divorce negotiation process you should carefully consider your options as to how you will actually word your demands. If you do not, then you will likely come across as being unreasonable that will defeat any possibility of successfully negotiating a settlement.

Another important factor when negotiating a divorce settlement is loyalty. You and your spouse must be 100% loyal to one another if you wish to successfully negotiate a divorce settlement. That means you must dedicate yourself to keeping your word and not giving in to your spouse’s many demands. You must also be willing to walk away from the table if your spouse is not amenable to your demands. In fact, if you can find at least one other person who will stand by you during this process, it would be best if you partner with them. You do not want to alienate them or convince them that they should not allow this to occur.

If you would like to learn more about negotiating a divorce settlement, feel free to search the internet for resources. There are many excellent books on this topic as well as websites that will offer you step-by-step instructions on how to negotiate a divorce settlement. One book that has helped me out of a lot of sticky situations involving my spouse is The Divorce Solution by Karen Smith. I highly recommend that you take a look at what she has to say because she is an attorney in the San Francisco area. In fact, her entire books are about divorce settlements. No doubt, once you have read her books you will know how to approach negotiating your divorce settlement.