Guilt is an awful feeling. First, it drains all the energy from you and leaves you feeling totally helpless. Second, guilt due to divorce hinders social activities. He/she often feels like there’s no point in facing the world, just retreat from it.
It’s normal to feel some level of guilt following a divorce. Guilt due to divorce carries a stigma that lasts for years, maybe for a lifetime. If you don’t get help, the shame and stigma will become a part of your personality. That’s why counseling and therapy are so important when dealing with this problem. It helps to rebuild the shame and stigma of the past.
The first step is talking to a therapist or a Christian marriage counselor about your concerns. You can’t make any progress in the process until you have first opened up and shared your emotions. Too many people who undergo a divorce remain in denial. It’s not uncommon for them to be carrying around many unresolved issues. A therapist will be able to help you deal with those emotions and help you discover some solutions for them.
If one parent is at fault for the divorce, he/she should receive primary custody of the children. There are now many parent-child bonding programs available. The aim is for the parent to learn new skills for parenting and to bond with the children. You may also need some time sharing your feelings with the other parent. A mediator may be beneficial in this situation.
Healing from the loss of your spouse and your emotions can be overwhelming. If you feel that your marriage has become unbalanced due to your spouse’s behavior, you have all the motivation you need to get things back on track again. It’s normal to experience feelings of guilt, shame and loss when you lose your spouse and your family. These feelings, though so powerful, shouldn’t be used as a reason why you should divorce. If there are any genuine issues between you, they should be addressed in a marriage counseling program.
You may decide that it is best to keep the marriage together for the sake of your kids. In that case, work out a parenting plan that both of you can live with. This plan should include both of you getting time sharing. This means dividing up the time that is available for your minor child (ren), spouse and yourself. Work out a fair division of the time, so neither of you feels under-appreciated.
You may find that dealing with divorce guilt is difficult. If this is the case, seek help from your family counselor. The counselor can also provide some great resources that will help you through your time of trial. He or she will teach you how to deal with your feelings of guilt, so that you don’t blow your chance of rekindling your relationship with your spouse.
In summary, it is important to remember that each situation is different. In many cases, couples who choose to divorce may not be able to wait around until their divorce case is over. In those cases, they will need extra help from a family law attorney. Once you have received counseling and are working out an equitable parenting plan, you and your spouse can start enjoying time together again.
Many couples do not realize that one of the best ways to avoid having to deal with divorce guilt is to make changes in your marriage. This alone can sometimes change anything. In your current situation, it may be difficult to know where to begin. What you should do is speak with your spouse about how your marriage is affecting your life. From there, you can work on ways to change anything that is not working well.
Remember that many of the causes of divorce result from emotions. It is not uncommon for a husband or wife to get angry because of infidelity. In these situations, the guilt of cheating soon gets in the way of living the lives that both of you had wanted to live. Although these are legitimate reasons for feeling guilty, remember that you do not have to hold onto these emotions once the divorce is final.
Dealing with divorce guilt often involves making changes to your marriage. If you are in a marriage where you feel like your spouse is being less than supportive, consider speaking with a marriage counselor. This can help you learn how you can change anything from your daily relationship with your spouse. If you wish to hold onto anger and shame, you may wish to consider some time spent with a therapist. However, if you want to make a fresh start in your life, you may want to take matters into your own hands.